Post by Quigley Quagmire on Aug 23, 2007 14:44:55 GMT -5
These are the short Lemony Snicket biographies found in the back of all thirteen volumes of A Series of Unfortunate Events.
1 The Bad Beginning.
Lemony Snicket was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He now lives in the city. During his spare time he gathers evidence and is considered something of an expert by leading authorities. These are his first books for HarperCollins.
2 The Reptile Room.
Lemony Snicket was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He now lives in the city. During his spare time he gathers evidence and is considered something of an expert by leading authorities. These are his first books for HarperCollins.
3 The Wide Window.
Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. A studied expert in rhetorical analysis, Mr. Snicket has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. His findings are being published serially by Harper-Collins.
4 The Miserable Mill.
Lemony Snicket grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it (The wide window perhaps ? ) . To his horror and dismay he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant ( Lemony had a servant ? ). his trial has been delayed , so he is free to continue researching and writing the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans for harperCollins
5. The Austere Academy.
Lemony Snicket first received his education from public schools and private tutors, and then vice versa. He has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions. Mr. Snicket's researching skills are currently and devoutly concentrated on the plight of the Baudelaire orphans, published serially by HarperCollins.
6 The Ersatz Elevator.
Lemony Snicket's extended family if they were alive, (notice it doesn't just say family) would describe him as a distinguished scholar, an amateur connoisseur, and an outright gentleman. Unfortunately this description has been challenged of late, but HarperCollins continues to support his research and writing on the live of the Baudelaire orphans.
7. The Vile Village
Lemony Snicket is the author of several books, all dreadful, and has been accused of many crimes, all falsely. Until recently he was living someplace else.
8 The Hostile Hospital.
Lemony Snicket is widely regarded as one of the most difficult children's authors to capture and imprison. Recently , he had to give up on his hobbies due to laws regarding musical performances in mountainous terrain. Most things written about him are not true, but this is.
9 The Carnivorous Carnival.
Lemony Snicket published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's sleep since. Once the recipient of several awards, he is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons. Early in his life, Mr. Snicket learned to reupholster furniture, a skill that turned out to b e far more important than anyone imagined.
10 The Slippery Slope.
Until recently LEMONY SNICKET was presumed to be presumed dead. Instead, this presumed presumption wasn't disproved to not be incorrect. As he continues with his investigation, his interest in the Baudelaire case has increased. So has his horror.
11 The Grim Grotto.
Lemony Snicket has received several citations for bravery in the face of evil and several more for caution when bravery might have proven to be more trouble than it was worth. He was last seen by witnesses who proved to be unreliable and/or of a particularly suspicious nature. In his spare time he hides all traces of his actions.
12 The Penultimate Peril.
Lemony Snicket has been chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire children with only occasional breaks for food, rest, and court-appointed sword fights. His hobbies include nervous apprehension, increasing dread, and wondering if his enemies were right after all.
13 The End.
Lemony Snicket is still at large.
1 The Bad Beginning.
Lemony Snicket was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He now lives in the city. During his spare time he gathers evidence and is considered something of an expert by leading authorities. These are his first books for HarperCollins.
2 The Reptile Room.
Lemony Snicket was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He now lives in the city. During his spare time he gathers evidence and is considered something of an expert by leading authorities. These are his first books for HarperCollins.
3 The Wide Window.
Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. A studied expert in rhetorical analysis, Mr. Snicket has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. His findings are being published serially by Harper-Collins.
4 The Miserable Mill.
Lemony Snicket grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it (The wide window perhaps ? ) . To his horror and dismay he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant ( Lemony had a servant ? ). his trial has been delayed , so he is free to continue researching and writing the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans for harperCollins
5. The Austere Academy.
Lemony Snicket first received his education from public schools and private tutors, and then vice versa. He has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions. Mr. Snicket's researching skills are currently and devoutly concentrated on the plight of the Baudelaire orphans, published serially by HarperCollins.
6 The Ersatz Elevator.
Lemony Snicket's extended family if they were alive, (notice it doesn't just say family) would describe him as a distinguished scholar, an amateur connoisseur, and an outright gentleman. Unfortunately this description has been challenged of late, but HarperCollins continues to support his research and writing on the live of the Baudelaire orphans.
7. The Vile Village
Lemony Snicket is the author of several books, all dreadful, and has been accused of many crimes, all falsely. Until recently he was living someplace else.
8 The Hostile Hospital.
Lemony Snicket is widely regarded as one of the most difficult children's authors to capture and imprison. Recently , he had to give up on his hobbies due to laws regarding musical performances in mountainous terrain. Most things written about him are not true, but this is.
9 The Carnivorous Carnival.
Lemony Snicket published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's sleep since. Once the recipient of several awards, he is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons. Early in his life, Mr. Snicket learned to reupholster furniture, a skill that turned out to b e far more important than anyone imagined.
10 The Slippery Slope.
Until recently LEMONY SNICKET was presumed to be presumed dead. Instead, this presumed presumption wasn't disproved to not be incorrect. As he continues with his investigation, his interest in the Baudelaire case has increased. So has his horror.
11 The Grim Grotto.
Lemony Snicket has received several citations for bravery in the face of evil and several more for caution when bravery might have proven to be more trouble than it was worth. He was last seen by witnesses who proved to be unreliable and/or of a particularly suspicious nature. In his spare time he hides all traces of his actions.
12 The Penultimate Peril.
Lemony Snicket has been chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire children with only occasional breaks for food, rest, and court-appointed sword fights. His hobbies include nervous apprehension, increasing dread, and wondering if his enemies were right after all.
13 The End.
Lemony Snicket is still at large.